Subscribe now

You know what they say about challenges: dare not others, for that they may dare unto you.

I mean, I’ve never heard that saying before, I just made it up, but it SHOULD be a saying.

Which is to say: I challenged my friend to not only write 200 words a day (something she does often anyway) but post 200 words a day. In public. For all to see! She had been faffing about too long in starting her subscription writing platforms (in my very not-humble opinion) and so I threw down the gauntlet.

Which she threw right back in my face!

What are friends for, amirite??!??!?

While posting publicly is hardly an issue for me, as I’m more of a “throw it out the door like dirty dishwater” type of writer, she called me on the carpet specifically to write 200 words a day on a new piece of fiction.

HOW DARE!!!!!! 😤

See, for the past year or so, I’ve talked a lot about writing, but mostly worked on doing a lot re-writing (Dragon’s Grail) and editing (The Queen’s Aerie). Nothing fresh, as it were.

Meanwhile, I actually thought up the bones of the idea for Transmigrated Teri in 2021, I think. I talked about it, created a Scrivener project for it, furiously scribbled out notes in random notebooks, dictated some rough ideas for scenes…but actually write it? Nope, no siree, not even a little bit.

I was stuck in a loop of insecurity and ambivalence. Was the idea too much of a “mary sue”? Is it too cheesy? Am I a good enough author to pull it off?

Gina was the witness for all of this and constantly yet gently kept reminding me that the story remained unwritten. She often reiterated the not-quite-a-momminder that she was really excited to read it! Someday! Eventually!

To be fair that was also my approach to getting her to post more of her writing, so it was a standoff.

One that was broken starting July 1st.

She began her 31 days of prompts and prose, while I dived in with the opening scene to Teri Graves’ story.

Share

Meet Teri Graves

Let me tell you, it’s a bit of a trip to open your story with the first day of the pandemic lock-down in 2020, which also happens to be the main character’s last day alive.

Yes, she “wakes up” in a fantasy world, but even so, it’s a grim way to launch. Especially since Teri herself is not very likable. I tried to make her sympathetic (broken dreams, abusive father, caretaker for her dementia-addled mother) but she’s a middle aged, bitter office lady who can and does pull out her White Lady Karen routine when she wants to speak to the manager.

Yet, I love her, and I love the set up. The more I lean into her experience as a fangirl the more I’m enjoying writing it, because I am familiar with the kind of fan that Teri represents.

They are the ones who are obsessed with canon and are often found doing a lot of grunt work like building wikis and archives and helping to moderate forums and events. They are the backbones of their chosen fandom and yet, sadly, just aren’t very likable themselves. Everyone appreciates them and gives them shout outs, but their friends roster changes often. If they are lucky, they never stick their foot too far into fandom wank and end up ostracized because no one wants to defend them. The sad truth is that their fandom is their entire world and not in a good way, because they are so profoundly unhappy in their own lives. Teri is the acme personification of a person who got stuck in that role for twenty years as her fandom rose and fell and rose again around her.

Despite her unhappy life, Teri did not want to die — after all, she was still waiting on Fuckin’ Chad to write and publish the final book in the Allisar Fireborn Chronicles series!

…which means that despite the fact that she memorized the books and wrote about them and analyzed them extensively, there might be some facts she just doesn’t know yet.

Yet. *evil author laughter*

Subscribe now

Takeaways From the Challenge

The most important takeaway is the reminder that I love writing, and I love writing by the seat of my pants. I love sitting down every day and finding out what happens next! I plan to keep doing that, and while I do have my serial beats system on hand to help guide me forward, I’m embracing my own discovery method whole heartedly!

With that in mind, one thing I discovered that really, really worked for me is setting an interim word count goal instead of an total word count goal.

I write in Scrivener, and it has a function where you can set word count goals, both daily and total. For the total, I set a total word count goal of 6k words (which I changed to 8k words about halfway through July) and set the deadline for July 31st. It was really inspiring me to see how the numbers went up every day! A big change from putting a huge number in the total field and feeling insignificant every time I wrote a mere 200 words towards the goal.

So I’ll be doing the same for August by upping the “total” word count for the project to 16k with a deadline of August 31st. So far I’m loving it, and if it keeps me engaged like this, will just keep changing it every month until the story is done.

Since I don’t really know how long the serial will be anyway (remember: I’m a died-in-the-wool pantser) this works really well for me. Part of me wishes I had thought of this earlier in my career, but on the other hand, I had previously focused on writing novels and mistakenly trying to conform to outlines and strict word count goals. I guess we learn what we need to learn when we need it!

Path Forward

I will not be posting snippets of Transmigrated Teri every day anymore, which might make you super happy or might not! But I will still be writing it every day. I love the story as much as I thought I would and am looking forward to continuing it!

I will also be moving it over to my Ream platform, where I will post scenes as I finish them. Really rough WIP work, but for those who like the story, you can join me there to stay in the loop.

Eventually, I will post scenes for free here on Substack again, but that probably won’t happen until at least October, maybe later. We’ll see how it goes!

The set up:

Teri Graves, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles (AFC) by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Well, she knew she had forgotten something. She gnawed at her cheek for a moment, trying to do math and figure out when Lady Greyrage was actually about thirteen. There was a reason she wasn’t in the accounting or financial aid departments.

The first novel started in the 250th year of Nikodosis’ reign, when Gervyn was fifteen, and Lady Greyrage was assumed to be thirty-five. She was killed by Rustad two years later when she was about thirty-seven? Or there-abouts. She subtracted thirty-seven from 252, but that was confusing so she thought about subtracting thirty-five from 250—

228! You were thirteen in 228! Theo grumbled at her.

“Two hundred and twenty eight? Nine?” She did not have any problem looking confused, and just hoped her dog—who was a dog—was good at math.

Lady Elisandar paused in her crying jag long enough to gasp loudly.

“That is a while ago. You would have been about…a girl.” Doctor Dourwin apparently was as good at math as Teri was.

“Thirteen! She was thirteen! It was when!” Lady Elisandar covered her mouth with a handkerchief, eyes wide.

“It was when, what?” He glanced over at her.

“When her courses started,” Lady Elisdandar said through the material.

Bingo, Teri thought with triumph. Her plan was coming together.

It’s not a plan, it’s a badly thrown ball.

Close enough! She glared at Theo. I have to tell them something!

“You are not behaving like a thirteen year old maiden,” Doctor Dourwin said critically.

“When I woke up, I somehow knew that I was not that same girl. I’m just saying that that is where my memories get cut off.” She huffed and resettled the bed covers around her nervously. “It’s like being in two places at once,” she offered, which was not a lie, at least.

“Hmm,” he said cryptically, eyeing her.

He’s not catching the ball.

I know that! She glared at Theo.

Share

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles (AFC) by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri starts spinning the tale that she has selective amnesia…

She waved at hand at Lady Elisandar, who had started crying loudly again.

“She looks much older than I expected, which is why I did not recognize her at first.”

This time the murmuring was dismayed.

Doctor Dourwin, though, was not one of the ones murmuring. He studied her with a critical eye before folding his hands in front of himself.

This is exciting! What if he doesn’t believe you?

Theo, please just lay down and shut up for a minute.

Rude! He spun in place for a moment and flopped back down in a huff. Everyone by the bed flinched, but continued to ignore him.

“And before you ask, no, I do not remember how I got into this situation at all. Lady Elisandar mentioned that I was on a shadow hunt for a void howler?”

Doctor Dourwin’s face turned sour like curdled milk. “Indeed.” He rolled his shoulders.

She just stared back at him, hoping she looked imperious and demanding, and not constipated.

“What imperial year do you last remember?”

Well, she knew she had forgotten something. She gnawed at her cheek for a moment, trying to do math and figure out when Lady Greyrage was actually about thirteen. There was a reason she wasn’t in the accounting or financial aid departments.

Share

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles (AFC) by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Just as the idea of what she would need to do started to form in her head, the door swung open and Doctor Dourwin entered, trailing three other pretentious, bearded men in burgundy and pink robes.

Oh! A game? Theo lifted his head.

What?

We are gong to play tricksies! Like when Mother pretends to throw the ball but doesn’t!

Don’t you hate that? Teri looked over at him

I do! I HATE it! Argh! He barked in annoyance, and everyone took a step back from the bed. But it makes her laugh. That! Makes me happy!

Yeah, sounds like Mom. Teri nodded.

“Ah. Milady. Lady Greyrage.” The doctor bowed shallowly and then popped back up, giving Theo a subtle side-eye. “I have brought my colleagues.” He held out an arm and Teri got the impression that he was getting ready to list off names, ranks, and credentials. She had been to one too many university conferences in life to have to deal with that bullshit in death…or coma, whatever, didn’t matter.

“No.” She said loudly and held up her hand in a “stop now” motion. His mouth clacked shut.

Lady Elisandar was no long able to hold back her excitement and plucked at the doctor’s sleeve. “Milady remembers!”

He gave the elderly woman a tight smile and gestured to one of his minions to lead her back to the overly-upholstered chair.

“Is that so, Milady?”

Teri reached down to find her most annoying white-lady-speaking-to-the-manager attitude, which wasn’t very far down given the circumstances.

“Yes, I do. I remember who I am. I remember where I come from. I remember experiences of my youth, and I remember Lady Elisandar.”

There was a pleased murmuring from her audience.

“But I do not know where I am, who you are, or what year of our emperor’s reign it is.” Which, after all, was true enough.

Share

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles (AFC) by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri remembers some facts from Lady Greyrage’s short life, and starts to formulate a plan.

“Lady Elisandar,” she said, looking thoughtfully at the canopy again. “I find that the doctor is right, there are some lapses in my memory. You said it was a void howler we were hunting?”

“Yes, so I was told.”

“And it grabbed ahold of me. By my leg, I presume?” She flexed her right foot, feeling the pain radiate up her leg to her hip.

“Yes, Milady. Until your familiar appeared to fight it off, the demon had the upper hand.” She shuddered dramatically. “Ser Brorwyn said that if your familiar had not joined the fray, you would have likely lost your leg, if not your life.” Her voice trembled a little.

“I doubt it. Void howlers are not blood eaters, for all that they are related to wolverines.” She squinted, trying to recall anything she had read in the bestiary section of Robern’s Library, a.k.a. the long-running fan wiki. She had been part of the ad hoc emergency team to move it to wikia when geocities was being shut down in 2009, and her meticulousness about it had earned her no friends but it meant that she spent months neck deep in AFC lore.

“That is true,” Lady Elisandar said, looking perplexed. “They feed off umbruus.”

Teri hummed. The Trine were the three powers that wizards had to master: luminith, vitalias, and umbruus. Each controlled different elements of nature and cosmos, and of them, umbruus — the essence of shadows, illusions, and transformative forces such as birth and death — was the one most closely associated with malevolent powers. The reason Emperor Nikodosis was The Bad Guy was because he harvested umbruus to use in his evil magical experiments.

Just as the idea of what she would need to do started to form in her head, the door swung open and Doctor Dourwin entered, trailing three other pretentious, bearded men in burgundy and pink robes.

Share

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles (AFC) by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: The more she could keep Lady Elisandar talking before the doctor returned, the more she would learn.

The woman in question made a tutting noise. “Naming your familiar after the lost prince, though,” she said, then paused, giving Teri a surprisingly fierce glare. “I had expected you would know better than that.”

“Oh. Theodorian.” Teri tried not to grimace. “I’m sure I was, uh, thinking of honoring Our Great Emperor at the time of crisis.”

Lady Elisandar frowned, her disbelief clear. “I would have thought you were thinking more about the void howler trying to eat you.”

Teri primly tried to pull herself up to settle against the headboard. “Thinking of His Imperial Majesty’s grace and forbearance in his lost son’s name is quite appropriate, I would say.” She tried to sound as prissy and haughty as possible, but it just made her sound like her mother in all the worst ways.

You really do sound like her, Theo said, looking up at her with big, limpid, apologetic eyes.

Which one? She tossed back at him mentally, feeling snappish, but he just gave her a doggy shrug.

“As you say, Milady,” Lady Elisandar said while arranging the blankets around Teri. “What’s done is done. You have a familiar at last.”

She did not sound happy about it, and it took a moment for Teri to mentally screen through the entirety of AFC lore to remember why: Lady Greyrage had always taken pride in not needing a familiar, deeming them lesser beasts for weaker magic wielders. Which, by all rights, she had been expected to be as a girl.

There wasn’t much known about her childhood — Fuckin’ Chad either didn’t care or was holding out on purpose there — except that she had been born weak in magic and so developed a major, psychotic chip on her shoulder about it. It was the supposed reason she hated the Allisar children in her care, since they were all fairly powerful in their own ways, especially Gervyn. There were a few references in the series to a disastrous shadow hunt in her youth that somehow resulted in her powers blooming unexpectedly...Teri’s thoughts came to a screeching halt.

One of her favorite fanfics had speculated about that event, and mixed up some other lore to suggest that Lady Greyrage had somehow become possessed by the foul magic of the thornspine serpent demon she had been hunting. It immediately became a popular head canon in the fandom, and Teri thought it might just be her way out of her current predicament…at least in regard to pretending to be someone she wasn’t.

Share

Author’s note:

So, the last couple of days I have not posted in this story. I was dealing with a flare up of my general anxiety disorder, which saps my creativity first thing. There is just a lot of stress in my life and in the lives of so many of friends right now, and that makes it hard to pull the words out. Anyway, we’re back on track I think, and I appreciate your patience!

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri sat up again so fast she felt dizzy, stuck on the fact that her death was a minor plot point in book two. She had “woken up” in a fantasy world, and was set to die in it too?

While her thoughts tumbled through her head and Lady Elisandar continued weeping over her, Teri tried to grab onto a plan of action. She stared up at the bed’s ostentatious canopy, which was gathered burgundy silk. It seems like such an odd detail for a coma dream to have.

I am not a dream dog!

“You mentioned that already,” Teri mumbled.

Theo finally turned around, then padded over the bed cover to flop down next to her.

Then stop thinking it. I’m your dog!

She paused, then tried thinking at him instead of talking. You’re Mom’s dog.

Which mom? He sounded confused.

Mom. You know, the deranged person living in my house who hates me? She frowned. How many mothers do you think I have?

The one there, and the one here!

Wait, you know about Lady Grayrage’s mother?

He nodded his head.

How?

Because I’m here?

She had to think about that. If this was a projection of Theo—

I AM NOT A DREAM DOG!

“Okay! Fine!”

Lady Elisandar sat up, and looked askance at Theo. “Is he…is he bothering you, Milady?”

“No more than usual,” Teri said without thinking.

Lady Elisandar nodded thoughtfully. “He is very…new, I suppose.”

“New?”

“As a familiar.”

“As a familiar,” Teri repeated. “Wait, no. Lady Gray—uhhh, I’ve never had a familiar.”

She patted Teri’s hand gently, and either did not notice the slip up or thought it had something to do with her injuries.

“It was very surprising to us all! But you called out for him as you fell, and there he was! Fighting off the beast that attacked you!”

I fought hard! I used my teeth! It was very exciting! His tail thumped against the covers.

Teri tried not to roll her eyes and ignored him. The more she could keep Lady Elisandar talking before the doctor returned, the more she would learn.

Share

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri comes to the assumption that she’s somehow in a coma and her brain has thrown her into the world of Chadwick Javarldson’s Allisar Fireborn Chronicles.

For all that everyone decried Fuckin’ Chad’s use of cliches and over-wrought prose, no one could deny that he had a gift for writing great characters.

And sadly enough, one of those great characters was the one everyone, including Teri, hated as much as Emperor Nikodosis: Lady Bonarae Grayrage, the Venomous Whip of Luttiron.

The character was one step beyond the typical, Disney-fied wicked step-mother, with her barbed cruelty and her actually barbed whip that she used to punish, and often kill, servants and commoners. Not simply cruel, she was vicious with it, delighting in making the lives of the children in her care miserable. Universal opinion in the fandom was she had gotten off light with simply being strangled to death, and really should have been publicly humiliated and executed.

Feminist fans of the series had been debating for years whether she was an example of “women can be evil too” or “glorified misogyny in action.” The only reason the scale tipped to the former was that there were other female characters in the series who were genuinely awesome.

Of the tens of thousands of fanfic written in the fandom, there were probably less than twenty that even bothered to give her a redemption arc. Instead, most just kept to canon, where Lady Grayrage was killed by her lover and fellow conspirator, Lord Kerelyn Rustad, not long after they murdered her husband, the ruthless but dumb Count Ferdiff Allisar. That happened midway through the second book, Quest for the Sacred Flame, and most people cheered it. Overall, her death was a minor plot point, as she had served her role as a pivotal negative influence in young Gervyn’s life with her cruelty and abuse.

Teri sat up again so fast she felt dizzy, stuck on the fact that her death was a minor plot point in book two.

She had “woken up” in a fantasy world, and was set to die in it too?

Share

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri wondered how much she had to hate herself to dream up possessing the body of one of the most loathed step-mothers in literary history: Lady Bonarae Grayrage, the Venomous Whip of Luttiron.

Teri slowly laid back down as the woman, who was likely some version of Lady Grayrage’s former nanny and long time companion Lady Arnee Elisandar, wept over her.

Why her brain had thrown her into the world of Chadwick Javarldson’s Allisar Fireborn Chronicles, she didn’t know. Or, actually, she did know, but she did not want to acknowledge it.

Her original love of the first book had been all-consuming when she was in her mid-20s and still a romantic at heart, thinking that freedom from her abusive father and useless mother meant she was ready to start her own amazing adventures.

The book had not aged well in the 20+ years since its publication, but for Teri, it still represented that brief time of hope and endless opportunity. Gervyn, the typical young “chosen one” hero, was a little bland in her opinion but she had eagerly devoured the entire series because of the other characters: Gervyn’s stubborn, hard-fighting sisters, the twins Aurguth and Vycett; their older brother, the quiet and soft-spoken Robern; Theodorian, the tragic lost prince of the Virendor Empire; and of course, Valerontarius, the handsome and enigmatic mage who was Gervyn’s mentor and, for most of the series until Gervyn came of age, the main enemy of the evil emperor of Virendor, Nikodosis.

For all that everyone decried Fuckin’ Chad’s use of clichés and over-wrought prose, no one could deny that he had a gift for writing great characters.

Share

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: She put on her most simplistic smile and tried to look forlorn and confused. “Can you please tell me who you think I am?”

The woman lowered her handkerchief and eyed Teri warily. Maybe she was not as much of a pushover as she thought.

You’ve known her since you were a puppy!

Thanking Theo silently in her head (Theo’s tail thumped happily a few times, but he did not turn around), Teri tried to blink up some tears.

“You do seem familiar…as if I’ve known you for a long time?”

You are such a liar!

She kicked her good leg out to bump Theo, who grumbled. The woman, meanwhile, sniffled a little.

“Oh, milady! Yes! I have been your lady in waiting since you were but a child! Before even your very first shadow hunt!”

Teri paused. “Shadow hunt” was a term coined by Fuckin’ Chad for the Allisar Chronicles, his take on the idea of mages hunting down demons and other dangerous creatures.

“And this would be…back when we lived…in Zyphyrehon?”

She brightened up even more. “Yes! Yes! Are you remembering?”

Teri let out a gusty sigh. So, apparently, she was in a coma and this was a dream world.

I am not a dream dog!

“Shut up. I beg of you.” She ignored him as he flopped down and put a paw over his face.

The woman had perked up and was sitting on the edge of the giant upholstered chair, looking expectantly at Teri.

“How could a daughter of the ferocious Crimson Viper ever forget?” She tried not to wince as she spoke, testing the waters but also afraid of how deep they might go.

“Oh! Lady Grayrage! You do remember!” She toddled over to the bed again and grabbed Teri’s hand, her face alight with joy and relief.

Teri wondered how much she had to hate herself to dream up possessing the body of one of the most loathed step-mothers in literary history: Lady Bonarae Grayrage, the Venomous Whip of Luttiron.

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri keeps giving the wrong answers, and no one is giving her answers, so the maybe-doctor Dourwin suspects she has lost her memory. She thinks he has lost his mind.

There was no memory loss that she was aware of, only a great deal of confusion, but she wanted answers and arguing with him would not get him to tell her anything. She waved at him to get a move on.

“Well! I would like to ask you a few questions? Just to establish a baseline, you see. To make sure—”

“I know what the fuck a baseline is!”

The woman sobbed louder.

“Okay, fine, get on with it.” She rubbed her eyes, grateful that at the very least she was getting control of her body back. She expected he would ask her the date, as if she could forget that horror, and possibly who the president was (as if she could forget that horror either).

“What are the names of your stepchildren?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

Her jaw dropped.

Step children? Who the hell did they think she was? Was there a mixup? How many cars had ended up piled up in that accident? Did they—

“Milady?” He prompted, hope fading in his eyes.

“I do not have any stepchildren.”

He stared at her in frank horror. She stared back in annoyance. He snapped his jaw shut, spun around, and marched out. The woman in the chair had a handkerchief held up to her mouth.

“You truly do not recognize me, milady?” She whispered into the handkerchief.

“No.” Teri stopped there, suddenly struck with inspiration. If the so-called doctor was even marginally proficient at his job, he would not tell her anything. He was probably setting up a whole battery of tests to find out what she could “remember,” which Teri knew was “absolutely nothing,” because she was not the person they thought she was. The key to getting out of the whole situation was to find a way to get her bearings, and the little old lady was probably her best bet.

Oh yes! She loves you a lot. I don’t know why; you’re mean. Theo was still on the bed but had turned around and was sitting with his back to her. She ignored him.

Instead she put on her most simplistic smile and tried to look forlorn and confused. “Can you please tell me who you think I am?”

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri narrowed her eyes at him, and he stepped back. It was very gratifying to think that she still had it. “This isn’t a hospital at all, is it?”

The woman gasped and clutched her pearls again, her eyes going wide. “Milady! We would never dare take you to a lowly hospital! You are here in—”

She stopped talking as soon as the doctor held up his hand, his own eyes narrowing.

Maybe Teri did not still have it after all.

“Milady. If I may ask: can you tell us where you are, right now?”

Home home home!

“We are not at home!” She snapped at Theo.

More gasping from the woman, and the doctor’s hand dropped. “Do you know who I am?”

“Not really. I heard those kids call you Doctor Dourwin, but I don’t know you.”

“Those kids?” The doctor repeated weakly.

The lady pushed past him to lean on the bed. “Milady! Do you not know who I am?”

Teri looked at her for a moment, dragging it out as she thought of every answer she could give that would not be in some way wrong, and possibly inflammatory. There was none.

“I have never met you before in my life.”

The woman collapsed on the bed, wailing, and it was the doctor’s turn to gasp in horror.

You really upset them! Why are you so mean?

Teri fell back on the mattress and yanked the cover up over her head, only for Theo to grab the edge of it with his mouth and pull it down.

Hide and seek? He looked so damn hopeful.

“No!” she snapped at him and he scooted backwards quickly. She only had a moment to feel a twinge of guilt before the doctor cautiously approached the bed again. He had apparently stuffed the weeping woman back into the chair she had been sleeping in.

Teri eyed him warily. “What?”

“I fear there has been some…ah…memory loss?”

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: “What. The. Fuck.” She stared at the dog who was now talking inside of her head. He stared back with a broad doggy smile on his face, his tongue lolling out.

“Milady!” The old woman called out loudly as she pushed herself up out of the chair. “Ah! Please, do not strain yourself!” She patted the bed coverings.

“What is with the ‘milady’ bullshit?” Teri snapped at the woman. “And who the fuck are you? You are not a nurse!”

The woman gasped and clutched at the, yes, literal pearls draped around her neck.

“I demand to speak to the managing nurse on duty!” Teri said, cringing a little inside at becoming a real Karen about the situation. Needs must, she figured.

“I will get the doctor, Milady!” The woman tottered out like a high-speed turtle.

Theo plopped down next to Teri and looked up at her. You are so grumpy! Leg hurt?

Teri stared at him. “This cannot be happening.”

I don’t know about that. Seems to be happening! Did you know there are a lot of cows around here? They are so funny!

“Cows.”

“Milady!” The same so-called doctor from last time rushed in. “How are you feeling?” He peered at her but made no move to check her pulse or anything resembling medical care in general.

“My dog is here,” she said, pointing at Theo.

I am here!

“Ahem. Yes. As unusual as it might be, in your situation, he is, ah, yours, after all.” The doctor looked very uncomfortable about it.

Teri narrowed her eyes at him, and he stepped back. It was very gratifying to think that she still had it.

“This isn’t a hospital at all, is it?”

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: No, the whole situation was the weirdest part. It was all equally bizarre. Where the fuck was she? Was this the fanciest hospital in the country?

Rolling carefully to one side, she let out a groan. The pain was lessened from what she remembered, replaced mostly by a general bone-deep ache, except for her right leg. The doctor had said something about not being happy with how it was healing, which matched the sharp pain shooting up from her foot.

She stopped for a long moment, taking deep breaths as the realization sunk in that there was no way she was getting out of the bed alone. Or possibly at all.

There was a tap-tap-tap noise from somewhere outside the room, as if a small animal was walking down a tiled hallway. It was followed by a creaking noise and then Theo was there, sitting in the middle of the room, looking at her.

“Theo?” She called in shock.

I am here, mistress! I am here! He bounced up and down for a moment and then bolted, running around the room once before jumping on the bed and licking her face in excitement.

“Argh! Dog! Bleah!” She pushed him away.

I am so happy you are awake! Everyone here smells so weird! I had some chicken for dinner, the children shared with me. They are good puppies!

“What. The. Fuck.” She stared at the dog who was now talking inside of her head. He stared back with a broad doggy smile on his face, his tongue lolling out.

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri noticed that everything is very weird in the most ridiculously luxurious hospital room she’s ever seen, but mostly she was in too much pain to process what has happened and ended up passing out again…

Teri felt herself awaking up again, somehow aware that time had passed but not how much, as if she was coming out a deep sleep but not a normal one. She felt unmoored from her sense of self, from her body, from time.

Even before she opened her eyes, she knew she was alone, and that the room was dark. She took a deep breath and waited for a moment, bracing for another migraine. It had been years since they were regular occurrences, thanks to the prescription from her doctor that she had started on when she was thirty-three. She was nervous about whether it was being administered while she was in hospital, and that thought led to the question: was she in a hospital? Where else could she be after an accident like that? And how long had she been unconscious, or even possibly in a coma?

Slowly opening her eyes, she saw the same room she had woken up in earlier, only shrouded in darkness. Heavy and ornate curtains had been drawn tight over the windows, and she only noticed that because there was a low lamp on a table casting a warm, cheery but limited glow. It looked like a damn oil lamp, the idea of which made her stare at it for a moment until she realized with a gasp that she was not alone, after all. A small, elderly woman sat in a heavily upholstered chair across from the table holding the lamp, listing to one side, her mouth slightly ajar as she slept on. She looked like an extra from Game of Thrones, her dress a costume amalgamation of historic eras, with a tight, high-necked bodice and a lacy housecoat…or something. Even from a distance and in the dark, though, Teri could tell that it was well made.

She took a deep breath again, and consciously tried to move her fingers, then her hands, then her arms. Her body was sore, as if it had been trampled by a mule or something, but not like she had survived a head-on collision with a massive truck doing fifty miles an hour. That was the weirdest part.

No, the whole situation was the weirdest part. It was all equally bizarre. Where the fuck was she? Was this the fanciest hospital in the country? For a moment she toyed with the idea that the delivery truck’s company was putting her up in an exclusive hospital, but given that she was at fault, why would they bother?

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Teri wakes up from what she assumed would be a fatal car accident in a strange place, and nothing makes sense.

“Mmph.” She grumbled, trying to gather her thoughts. She had obviously been in a catastrophic accident, and she was mostly surprised she was alive at all. She had to assume Theo was dead, which made her stomach flip a little. He had been dumb and annoying but he had been her puppy, once upon a time, no matter that her mother had basically stolen him when she moved in with Teri five years ago.

“Can you tell me how you feel, currently?”

“Headache,” she rasped.

He hummed, and she assumed he was probably writing a prescription. She wondered if she had any IV lines, which seemed likely but she could not feel them. That brought up a new worry.

“Paralyzed?”

“What? Oh no, milady, you are not paralyzed. I’m…displeased with the healing of your right leg, but it is early days yet.”

She was already dreading all the physical therapy in her future. And she was a little creeped out by all the fedora-nice-guy “miladies” going on. It was extremely unprofessional. She already knew his name, thanks to the kids who had clearly come into the wrong room, but she needed more info. “Hospital?”

“Hm?”

“Which…hospital? My mother, she’s home alone.”

There was a long pause. “Your…mother?”

She took a deep breath and forced herself to open her eyes. Light hurt, and she knew she was opening the door wide for the migraine to come in and have a seat instead of hovering around the edges of her consciousness, but she needed to figure things out.

Squinting and blinking, she looked around. “Am I…am I in a hotel room? What the actual fuck? I can’t afford this!”

It was gorgeous. She was under a heavy and heavily embroidered, brightly colored quilt on a gigantic four poster bed, brocaded curtains tied back with fancy, twisted cords. The room itself had several tall, narrow windows that were edged with stained glass, bright and sparkling in the nearly-pink sunlight. Everything in the room screamed expensive and tacky in the way of a tourist-trap-style European castle trying for a “medieval but make it luxurious” vibe. Not that she had ever been in one, but she enjoyed travel websites as much as the next lower middle class working stiff.

“Cannot…afford? Milady, if you please—” the doctor said, leaning over her with a hand held out cautiously, as if he was wary of touching her.

“What are you wearing?” She tried to pull back from him. He was dressed in a burgundy red and pink outfit that looked like three layers of fancy bathrobes with a belt so wide it could have been a girdle. Maybe it was. She blinked her eyes.

“My robes of station?” He frowned at her.

She tried to flap her hand at him but her body screamed in pain. Collapsing back down all the way with a gasp, she stared at the lovely and ridiculous draperies covering the bed before closing her eyes again, taking a deep breath to try to focus. The migraine was marching up on her consciousness at full speed.

“Look, Mom is home alone, and—” she started to say, but then felt a hard tap in the middle of her forehead and everything went dark again. She thought she heard barking as she drifted away.

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Theo broke out of his car harness and jumped in Teri’s lap, causing her to veer out of her lane. The last thing she saw was a large delivery trucked headed straight for them…

“Gervyn! Gervyn!”

Teri felt herself waking up, which was a very weird sensation. It was if her brain was in the backseat, watching her drive her own body. Not that she was doing much other than laying there and fighting a migraine. Everything was sluggish and light hurt her eyes, so she kept them closed.

“Gervyn! Stop! She’s resting! You can’t—”

“I just need to see if she’s okay!”

“Doctor Dourwin told you that she is recovering! Come on!”

“You both need to shut up, I have a headache,” Teri grumbled. She wanted to rub her temple but her body was strangely reluctant to comply, and she was determined not to panic about it. Instead, she concentrated on moving her arm to shoo at the kids who were fussing next to her…bed? Was she in bed? Was she in a hospital? She thought that was weird, and her memory unspooled all at once. She jack knifed up in bed and her body clinched in agony.

“Argh!” She fell back down. In her mind’s eye, she saw the delivery truck headed straight on at them, Theo scratching at the car window, and the horns blaring. Did Theo sit on the car horn?

“Theo!” She gasped again, and again her body spasmed in agony.

“What are you two reprobates doing here, bothering milady? She is grievously injured! Out!” An older male voice sternly commanded, followed by feet shuffling across the room and a door slamming shut.

“Milady, you should not have moved so much. You are still healing.” The man made a tutting noise. She still kept her eyes closed, but she could tell he was standing next to the bed. “I am relieved that you have finally awoken.”

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Her phone chimed and she looked at the screen.

“HI, Ms. Travers. It’s Louis at Barkingham. We’re closing in fifteen minutes and Theo is ready to go.”

Startled, Teri realized that she had been sitting in the car listening to the audiobook of the Allisar Chronicles for nearly forty-five minutes.

March 16, 2020, comes to an abrupt end while Teri listens to a scene from the book series she hates to love…

She stumbled out of the door, clattered up the stairs and into the lobby to find a very exhausted Louis holding Theo’s leash like the last soldier standing. He all but tossed the leash at her.

“Good-bye and good luck,” he said and spun around to disappear into the back again.

The front desk was empty, and as she stood there, the lights were shut off.

Theo was just smart enough to realize that things were not going as they normally did, and walked all hunched up with worry and whined when Teri buckled him into his security harness in the front seat. She might have felt worse about it if he weren’t so dumb. As it was, she just slammed the door in his sad face.

Getting home was the priority, and fortunately she was not even worried about their toilet paper stash since she had grabbed as many as she could the previous Friday, when it had finally sunk in that a lockdown was likely to happen.

Unfortunately, the traffic situation had not calmed down at all. As the clock ticked closer to 4:00 pm, it was clear that more and more businesses around town were sending people home. Teri drove along the main drag back to her subdivision but it was moving at a crawl. Despite the AC running on high, Theo was panting heavily, his eyes a little wild as he strained at his harness, getting more and more freaked out by the chaos of the day.

Seeing an opportunity, Teri took a turn and went into a maze of back roads through older parts of the city. Harold McGuire was still talking through the car speakers, and she found herself pacing her turns and speed to his voice somehow.

In that pivotal moment, amidst the swirling chaos of battle, Gervyn felt a surge of energy welling up from deep within his very core…

She ended up on the two-lane frontage road that ran parallel to the highway and gunned it. There were a few other locals who had the same thought she did, and everyone was jockeying to get ahead. She managed to speed around one slower car, but found that just ran her up against another one.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” She slapped the wheel with the flat of her hand and Theo startled. “Oh, stop it,” she snarled at him.

The air crackled with anticipation as his trembling fingertips reached towards the heavens, their tips igniting with an ethereal flame. The sheer intensity of the power coursing through his veins sent shivers down his spine…

She hit the brakes as the car she was tailing suddenly slowed down to take a turn. Theo panicked, bouncing in his harness and trying to jump around.

“Would you STOP?” she shouted and pushed him into the seat with her free hand.

He stood unwavering, his eyes blazing with a newfound resolve. The forces of fire answered his call, bending to his will like loyal subjects. With a single gesture, Gervyn unleashed a torrent of scorching flames…

Theo barked and jerked away, and Teri heard a tight, plastic snap. She only had a moment to realize something was wrong before she had 80 pounds of panicked dog in her lap, yanking her hands off the wheel, making the car veer wildly. Time slowed down as she made a grab for the steering wheel. Her eyes darted up over Theo’s back and she saw a large delivery truck barreling towards them, its horn blaring. Her breath caught and a surge of terror overwhelmed her as realized what was happening.

The forces of Emperor Nikodosis’ army were engulfed in a blazing inferno, heralding the dawning age of Gervyn’s destined greatness. The howls of the dying surrounded him but he held strong, determined to wring justice from the blood of his enemies…

Everything went black.

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: Thinking about serving time trapped in the house with her mother for an indeterminate lock down, Teri clutched her phone so hard she heard the case creak. Looking up at the entrance to Barkingham Palace, she saw the line for pick up was out the door.

March 16, 2020, continues in the parking lot of the doggy daycare center, Barkingham Palace…

Resigning herself to at least a 30 minute wait, she pulled up her audio book app and punched at the screen until the dulcet tones of baritone Harold McGuire filled the car as he continued reading book four of the Alissar Fireborn Chronicles, The Shadow’s Betrayal. It was the start of the part where Gervyn comes into his fireborn powers, just after his sister Vycett gets murdered by evil Emperor Nikodosis as a sacrifice to the demon god Mortu.

It was the penultimate part of Gervyn’s character arc and Teri hated it and hated Fuckin’ Chad for writing such a terrible end for a great character like Vycett and really, it was the worst scene possible to pick up on, given her mood.

But it was the Alissar Fireborn Chronicles, and if nothing else Teri’s damned loyalty to the book series meant she could not skip a chapter, even if she hated it. She mouthed the words along with McGuire, who had once in his younger years been tapped to play the rakish mentor character Valerontarius, before the movie series went into perpetual “development” and he had eventually aged out of the role. Still had the voice for it, in Teri’s opinion, and clung to the hope that the rumored animated series would be picked up by Netflix and they would hire McGuire for a the voice actor for Valerontarius.

Despite Vycett’s terrible and completely unnecessary demise, Teri found herself relaxing just listening along and thinking about her favorite fix-it fanfics. There were so many. Sometimes she suspected the legendary fandom, which was over twenty years old, kept going strong on spite alone. She honestly hoped that the delayed (and delayed and delayed) publication of the final book in the series would spell the end for the massive popularity of the story. Not that it would alter her own perverse dedication. It might be due to sunk cost fallacy but she had been invested in the story since her twenties and she was not going to drop it just because Fuckin’ Chad kept screwing over her favorite characters.

Her phone chimed and she looked at the screen.

HI, Ms. Travers. It’s Louis at Barkingham. We’re closing in fifteen minutes and Theo is ready to go.

Startled, Teri realized that she had been sitting in the car listening to the audiobook for nearly forty-five minutes.

The set up:

Teri Travers, a nearly-50 bitter “office lady” who has not led a happy life gets in a massive car accident after being sent home on the first day of COVID lockdown in 2020. She (and her dog) wake up in a strange new world that is also strangely familiar…that’s right, she’s been transmigrated into the world of her favorite 1990s fantasy novel series, the massively popular, critically disdained, and incredibly tropetastic Allisar Fireborn Chronicles by the infamous Chadwick Jarvaldson, aka “Fuckin’ Chad” to all his very annoyed fans who are still waiting for the final book to be published.

Subscribe now

Previously: When Teri rolled the dolly cart past them with her box and her plants, Ellie gave her a polite wave and Devon called out good luck, but everyone else ignored her.

It was fine. She was fine. It was all going to be fine.

March 16, 2020, continues back at the doggy daycare center, Barkingham Palace…

It was not fine.

Teri sat in her car in the overwhelmed parking lot at Barkingham Palace, her hands once again white knuckling the wheel for no reason, since she was parked. The place was crawling with panicked people coming to pick up their dogs, and Teri thought that she should have expected as much, given how close to the university it was. She had already recognized three professors, a dean, two students who clearly lived off their parents’ money, and the vice-president of the student affairs department go inside.

She had made the mature decision to just wait out the rush, mostly because her incipient rage might end up with her breaking something if anyone gave her attitude. All she wanted to do was go home and lock herself in her bathroom so no one, absolutely no one, could talk to her.

Her phone pinged and she instinctively picked it up.

“DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS?” Her mother shouted.

“Mom, what are you doing in the kitchen?”

“IT’S MY KITCHEN!”

Teri counted to five as she took a deep breath. “I saw the news and I’ll be home with Theo soon.”

There was a long pause…too long. Teri knew her mother had already lost the thread of the conversation.

“Theo isn’t here, I think he got out!”

“No, Mom, he’s at doggy daycare. I’m picking him up now.”

“Why did you take him there? Did you steal him?”

“I did not steal your dog! Oh my God, just hang up, I’m coming home with Theo.”

There was another long pause what sounded like the receiver being put down on the counter.

“Mom? MOM!”

More rustling sounds, and then she picked up the receiver again. “He’s not out back! Theo got out! We have to find him!”

Teri clinched her jaw. “I’ve got Theo with me now. I’m coming home. Hang up the damn phone!”

“DON’T CUSS AT ME, I’M YOUR MOTHER!” Her mother shouted and then slammed the receiver down to hang up the phone. Teri once again debated the merits of just pulling the ancient landline phone off the wall, but it was the only phone her mother could figure out how to dial anymore and even Teri could not stoop to leaving her mother with no way to call 911.

Thinking about serving time trapped in the house with her mother for an indeterminate lockdown, Teri clutched her phone so hard she heard the case creak. Looking up at the entrance to Barkingham Palace, she saw the line for pick up was out the door.